Although I tend to let a week or two pass between my diary entries, I realized I had to follow up my last few posts within a few days because I know it would really piss me off good if someone else had concocted a quiz that I bothered to take, and then left me hanging, answerwise, for weeks on end. So here are the answers to the quiz (and to make it slightly more interesting than just a plain ol’ list, I’ll mention the context of the quotations—if the context matters):
1K. Bring that shit to me, man! / Cerrano (Major League) Yelled after Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn (or maybe it was Jake—I haven’t seen this movie in years) got a little “chin music” from the asshole Yankees pitcher.
2PP. Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded. / Sparky Polastri (Bring It On) To Torrance and her pals (natch) right before he teaches them how to make “poetry with the human body.”
3G. Not bad for a human. / Bishop (Aliens) To Ripley, who just kicked the Queen Alien’s ass and blew her out of “the god-damned airlock!”
4I. Learn it. Know it. Live it. / Brad Hamilton (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) To Spicoli and his stoner pals in reference to the sign, “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Dice.”
5JJ. Shit! Fucking limey cement. / Otto (A Fish Called Wanda) Right before he gets steamrolled at Heathrow Airport.
6C. I have no response to that. / Angelica (Joe versus the Volcano) She said this a lot in the movie. And thus it’s a great thing to say when you can’t think of anything to say.
7E. Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb! / Batman (Batman: The Movie) Said straight to the camera (in the 1966 Batman movie) when Adam West runs around with a lit bomb for at least three minutes of screen time, but can’t get rid of it because everywhere he goes there are either nuns, Boy Scouts, or ladies pushing baby carriages around, etc.
8M. What are the odds of the Russians attacking on a Thursday night? / Cooper (The Man with One Red Shoe) Exclaimed when Cooper decides to use the U.S. government’s nuclear missile-tracking machinery to track Richard Drew (Tom Hanks), a man he suspects of being a spy who is, in actual fact, merely a concert violinist.
9Y. Sorry about the mess. / Han Solo (Star Wars) To the cantina bartender, right after he shoots Greedo.
10Z. Ugh. I thought they smelled bad on the outside. / Han Solo (The Empire Strikes Back) When he puts Luke inside the Tauntan he just sliced open with a lightsaber.
11OO. I want more life, fucker. / Roy Batty (Blade Runner) To Tyrell, just before he pokes the old bastard’s eyes out.
12O. Help! Help! I’m being repressed! / Dennis (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) Cried by the anarcho-syndicalist communist peasant whom King Arthur mistakes for an old woman (Dennis is neither a woman, nor is he old—he’s 37).
13BB. You fool! I could have killed you with a karate chop! / Inspector Clouseau (A Shot in the Dark) Said to his assistant, Hercule, after bumping into him and thus scaring the shit out of himself.
14S. Anybody want a peanut? / Fezzik (The Princess Bride) The rhyme to Vizzini’s pissed-off demand, “No more rhyming, I mean it!”
15X. I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got. / H. I. (Raising Arizona) When H. I. robs the convenience store while his unsuspecting wife and their kidnapped baby sit in a car outside.
16NN. I can't think of anything original! I'm only good in support. / Rosencrantz (Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead) As with Angelica’s line in Joe versus the Volcano, this line is great when you can’t think of anything else to say.
17N. It's such a fine line between stupid and clever. / David St. Hubbins (This Is Spinal Tap) Ditto on this one.
18SS. Ray, when someone asks if you're a god, you say yes! / Winston (Ghostbusters) Right after Gozer nearly sends the Ghostbusters off the roof of the Dana’s apartment building.
19KK. Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you...but I'm not going to. / Phil Conners (Groundhog Day) When Phil and Rita want some alone time in the penultimate scene of the movie.
20R. You killed the car. / Ferris Bueller (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) His answer to Cameron’s horrified question, “What did I do?” after he kicks his dad’s 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California into the trees.
21GG. Haven't you seen Boyz N The Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot! / Mike (Swingers) After Sue pulls a gun on the House of Pain guys (as Trent facetiously calls them).
22P. A life without cause is a life without effect. / Dildano (Barbarella) Perhaps the one line in the movie that actually means something, since the rest of the movie is preoccupied with Jane Fonda’s naked body (in a “rated PG” kind of way).
23T. Can I borrow your towel for a sec? My car just hit a water buffalo. / Fletch (Fletch) When he walks in on Gail Stanwyck wearing nothing but a towel.
24CC. Chaos was what killed the dinosaurs, darling. / J. D. (Heathers) Said while he and Veronica discuss their fellow high school students banding together in the cafeteria for the sake of the camera crews.
25TT. Girls have no sense of adventure. / Xavier (The Doom Generation) It’s a sex thing. Der.
26MM. Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter. / Richard (Tommy Boy) When Tommy squirts some sauce packets directly into his mouth.
27Q. If he's so weird, why is he wearing Nikes? / Enid (Ghost World) Sagely reacting to a stand-up comic who is billed as “the weirdest man in America” (or something like that).
28AA. I refuse to discriminate between modes of knowing. / Henry (Henry Fool) Explaining to the convenience store clerk why he insists on reading pornographic magazines in the store.
29W. I'm a teacher, not a Holiday Inn. / Grady Tripp (Wonder Boys) Reacting to the possibility that the trashed James Leer might need to crash in his house for the night.
30DD. Your looks have become a problem! / Jeff (Almost Famous) Revealing the least of Stillwater’s infighting gripes with lead singer Russell.
31D. Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I Just Called to Say I Love You”? Go to the mall. / Barry (High Fidelity) Chewing out a businessman trying to buy Stevie Wonder’s “sellout” record for his daughter.
32B. If you're just operating by habit, then you're not really living. / Andre (My Dinner with Andre) Trite, but true.
33L. If Plato is a fine red wine, then Aristotle is a dry martini. / Chet (Kicking and Screaming) Preceded by Chet saying, “I’m paraphrasing myself here...” Chet is the bartender and chronic college student.
34LL. No, I don't feel lucky to be alive! I feel lucky I'm not dead. There's a difference. / Raymond Stoller (Breaking Away) Stated after his heart attack when his son allowed a customer to return a used car to their dealership (the other classic Ray Stoller line from the movie is “Refund? REfund?! REFUND?”).
35HH. On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. / The Narrator (Fight Club) Also trite, but also true. So go ahead and punch the guy sitting next to you.
36J. Sorry, baby, but I had to crash that Honda. / Butch (Pulp Fiction) Explaining to his girlfriend why he returned to the motel on a motorcycle (“It’s a chopper, baby.”) instead of in her Honda.
37A. I'll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a popsicle. / Ajax (The Warriors) Taunting one of the Baseball Furies (who swing like the Yankees but connect like the Mets).
38RR. We all have it coming, kid. / William Munny (Unforgiven) Reminding the Schofield Kid of the truth when the Kid says, “Well, I guess he had it coming” (regarding the man in the outhouse that the Kid shot point blank).
39EE. I’m making my lunch! / Jingle Dell (Wild at Heart) His response when his terrified mother finds him in the kitchen at 3 a.m. surrounded by hundreds of baloney sandwiches and asks him what he’s doing.
40H. At least she had good taste. / Blood (A Boy and His Dog) The double-entendre that ends the movie.
41II. I’m a fuel-injected suicide machine! / The Night Rider (Mad Max) Part of the Night Rider’s rant, just before Max plows him into a tanker truck coming the opposite direction.
42FF. Whatever it is, it’s warm. / Logan 5 (Logan’s Run) Said while he and Jessica try to puzzle out what the big yellow ball in the sky is (i.e., the sun).
43U. I shouldn’t have written all those tank programs. / Flynn (Tron) What the hotshot programmer said while trying to outrun a bunch of tanks on his lightcycle.
44QQ. We have all become God’s madmen. All of us. / Dr. Van Helsing (Bram Stoker’s Dracula) Response to the carnage at the end of the movie.
45V. Dick Laurent is dead. / Fred Madison (Lost Highway) The mysterious phrase that begins and ends the movie, connecting it into a Moebius strip.
46F. Goddammit, I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd do any good! / General Beringer (WarGames) In exasperation, while everyone else tries to figure out how to shut down the computer program, Joshua (a.k.a., WOPR).
